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Author: nik
Posted: 2007-11-07 14:20:49
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For a while now I have had a memory problem. Until recently my problem has been self-induced. You see, I was doing well in life. I was married to a great guy, was involved in a good church, had surrounded myself with faithful friends, and was even reaching amazing goals. It seemed only natural to want to forget my teen years. To pretend they never happened. To blank out that time period when . . . (I was trying to forget, remember?)
Though I didn't speak of those days past, I really didn't forget. How could I when I had a son as a reminder of my teenage pregnancy? He was something beautiful that came out of pretty scary times.
But there was someone else who didn't forget.
God was there during the dark times. He was there when we made the decision of whether to keep our son or put him up for adoption. He was there when I mourned my childhood being gone, when I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep all day. He was there when I had to tell my family. He was there when I was told to hide my expanding tummy so that my family wouldn't have to be ashamed just yet. And most of all he was there when people I loved were cutting ties with me.
But He was also there when closer bonds were built with those who stood by us. He was there when we met with the pastor who would marry us, and become a very special person in our lives. And He was most definitely there when our beautiful baby boy was born.
Now, a lot of new acquaintances know about my teenage pregnancy, anyone who hears my age and my sons age. You can see their internal calculator working . . . If Niki's twenty-four, and Connor is turning seven.... Well, that would have made her 17?!
I am married to the most amazing man, we have since bought our own home and had another child. He works hard so that I can stay home with our children. Though we don't make excuses for what we did as teenagers, we would never want to change it.
It would be a lot easier for me to go under the radar now and not be found out. I could fib about my age. Most people just assume that I look younger than I am. I find myself ready to join in with others when they say hurtful things about teenage moms just so that I can feel like part of the group. Then I realize that's not a group I want to be part of.
God isn't finished with me yet, he doesn't want me to hide this. You see, when it comes to our changed hearts, God is more into remembering than forgetting. He wants us to remember how he helped us. He wants us to tell of the power and the miracles he did in our lives. I see so many ways I can help people because of my own experiences. The future is limitless.
Psalms 78:4 says, "We will not hide these truths . . . but will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord. We will tell of his power and the mighty miracles he did."
Guess what? You're part of the group I'm shouting it out to! God transformed my life from a beaten-down, teary-eyed teen to someone who can help others. That's something worth remembering! |
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