Matthew 26:36-44 ESV
Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again.
I wonder how he walked away. Was the dominant emotion frustration? Was it sadness, or dissapointment? Was he somehow content, to see them like babies, woefully unaware of events soon to transpire?
I don’t pretend to know the answer, but I bet that a novel could be written with the supposition of every emotion known to man inserted at this point in the story.
Here again, we have an example of a desperation prayer. Not even Christ was immune to what must be the physiological response to impending mortality. I hope that the sight of his disciples, even in their weakness and inability comforted him in some way.
If I were to give an honest guess though, I would say that they didn’t. Their failure to keep watch with him might have been the most important dissapointment that they provided. For through this, we know that Christ, like ourselves, has truly been alone.
This kind of alone is different than his time in the wilderness. For those days and nights of fasting, he wished to be alone. Now, in the garden, he asked for comfort and got none. Without their support, he could have bolted and run away. He was truly on his own, to choose to do the will of God.
You cannot say that Christ did not suffer your pains and temptations. You cannot say that he had help unavailable to you. He did not.